Christmas Visitor
by Atelaar
Summary: The Roberts have an unexpected visitor drop in for Christmas! So how is Inuyasha going to get home again?


**This was inspired by a message I wrote to one of my friends.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, but Sue and Ted are mine!**

OoOoOo

Ted and Sue Roberts jumped in their seats on the couch as something heavy thudded into the fireplace. They had been watching television this eve before Christmas Eve, curled up with mugs of hot chocolate, and minding their own business.

"What was that?"

Ted shrugged. "Raccoon?"

"Well, thank God we don't have a fire going tonight, or it would be toasted raccoon."

Sounds of muffled cursing came from behind the firescreen.

Sue went running into the laundry room for the broom, and charged back into the family room, wielding it like a broadsword.

"Alright!" she shouted. "Come on out of there!"

"Sue!" protested Ted, still not moving from his seat.

"Ted – will you turn off that blasted anime and HELP me over here. Somebody's trying to break in! Or do you _really _want to be robbed before Christmas!"

"Somebody's trying to break in through the chimney?" Ted scoffed. "Riiiight."

"Well, there's something in the fireplace and I want it OUT!"

"Okay, okay. Don't get your panties in a knot."

Ted got up, placing his hot chocolate carefully on the coffee table. He approached the fireplace and tugged at the doors of the firescreen. Something large, red and sooty tumbled out into the room. Sue began to beat the apparition with the broom.

"Take that, you thief! And that! How dare you try coming through the chimney!"

"Sue! Sue – stop! I think you're beating up Santa Claus!"

"Hey! OUCH, dammit! Stop with the broom, already!"

Ted hauled Sue out of the way, and they both stared as their unlooked for visitor uncurled himself on the floor. It was not Santa Claus. Not by a long shot.

Yes, there was a great deal of red and white. Red hakama and haori. Long white hair out of which poked two dog-like ears. No beard. Too skinny to be mistaken for the jolly old elf. Two terrified golden eyes stared up at the nonplussed couple.

"This isn't the well house!"

"It talks!" Sue shrieked, taking aim with the broom again.

"Sue – Sue! Don't you recognize him?"

"It sure as hell ain't Santa! Outta the way, Ted! Let me at him!"

"Sue – it's… it's Inuyasha!"

"It's a nutbar in red robes and a fright wig! I'm calling the cops!"

Ted grabbed Sue's arm. "Honey, don't. It's Inuyasha, I'm telling you."

The creature tried brushing itself off and gave it up as a bad job. Going to hands and knees, it shook itself like a dog, sending soot everywhere.

"Y'know, you really should clean that chimney once in a while, " he drawled, getting to his feet. "Where the hell am I? Where's Kagome?"

"See?" Ted said triumphantly. "It's Inuyasha, I tell you."

Fear was giving way to indignation. "So why isn't this the well house? I came through like I usually do. How'd I end up here? Aw man! She's gonna kill me! She's gonna 'sit' me to the seventh hell if I'm late!"

"Inu…Inuyasha?" Ted said.

"Yeah?"

"It _is_ you. Look, honey! It's really him – just like on TV!"

Sue lowered the broom and gave her visitor a considering look. "He's a lot cuter in person."

"Okay, look…" Inuyasha's hold on his temper was heading south rapidly. "Where am I? Who are you people? Hey – are those cookies? Can I have one? It's gotta be – I dunno – half an hour since I last ate."

Sue offered the plate of cookies with a shaking hand.

Inuyasha helped himself to several. "Boy! These are good! Whatja call 'em? Can I get the recipe for Mrs. Higurashi?"

"Uhhh…" Sue said. "I guess so."

"So," Ted said. "How did you end up in our fireplace?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Dunno. Like I said, I came through the well just like I usually do. But I ended up here instead of the well house."

"Hey – wait just a minute here." Sue's eyes narrowed. "If you're Inuyasha, you're supposed to be Japanese, right? How come you're speaking English?"

"I am?" The _hanyou_ looked confused. "What's English?"

"Okay – I'm definitely phoning the police. He's a nutbar!"

Ted grabbed his wife again. "Honey… maybe… maybe it's some type of magic or something. How else would he turn up in our fireplace?"

Inuyasha helped himself to more cookies. "You know, folks, I just wanna go home to Kagome, okay?"

Stuffing the last cookie in his mouth, he bent and took a look up the chimney.

"Doesn't look like I'm getting back through there. Ah damn!" He put his fists on his hips. "Mrs. Higurashi had everything set up for me to take Kagome out tonight, and both of them are gonna have my hide. It's Christmas Eve, right?"

"Not until tomorrow," said Sue, a little distracted. Nutbar or not, he had a terrific build, better than the character on TV, and she rather wished he would bend over again.

"Hey – Japan's at least twelve hours ahead of us," said Ted. "It would be Christmas Eve over there. About ten in the morning, I think."

"Well, great!" Inuyasha cracked his knuckles. "All I have to do is get over there. Lots of time if it's still morning."

"Uh… Ted? We can't exactly put him on a plane."

Ted stroked his chin. "You're right. You wouldn't happen to have a passport, would you, Inuyasha?"

"A who-what?"

"Didn't think so. Nope, I guess we're not getting him on a plane."

Inuyasha collapsed in a heap in front of the fireplace, ears drooping. "Ah geez! How am I gonna get back?"

"Uh – we could box him up and send him by courier."

"Stupid idea. What if they lost the box? Remember that package for Sweden that ended up in Swaziland?"

Sue bit her lip. "Oh yeah."

"Besides, even if they didn't lose the box, he'd still not make it on time."

"Well… if he's magic…" Sue shook her head. "No! No, it wouldn't work."

"What?" said Inuyasha and Ted together.

Sue stared into those hopeful golden eyes and gulped. Poor puppy! "Weird idea, but do you think Santa would take him?"

Ted began to laugh. "Santa's not real, Sue! Come on!"

Sue pointed a finger at the _hanyou_ crouched on her rug. "He's not supposed to be either, but there he is!"

"Okay… it's worth a shot, I suppose. We could take him to the mall tomorrow."

"We'll have to go early – the parking will be hideous."

Within minutes, it was decided that they would take Inuyasha to the mall (Sue hoped they could abandon him there without him following them back home), and they would ask Santa for help.

An extra blanket and pillow were produced and Inuyasha was bedded down on the couch. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to Ted and Sue move around above him.

"Oh, Kagome! Boy, I hope you understand that standing you up sure wasn't my idea! This Santa dude better be able to help me, or I'll be swimming back to Japan – and that's a hell of a long way to dog paddle."

OoOoOo

"Well, he didn't have to laugh so hard!" Sue said exasperated, as they opened their front door and let Inuyasha scoot in ahead of them. "Wipe your feet, you damn mongrel! Honestly! Going barefoot in _this_ weather! He's gonna get pneumonia, and I'll have to take time off work to look after him."

"Inuyasha might have gotten further if he'd been a little more polite. I mean, you just don't walk up to Santa and say 'Yo, dude! How's about a lift tonight?' And he shouldn't have insulted Santa's suit either."

"But that fat dude's suit isn't made of fire-rat cloth!" protested Inuyasha. "I just think it would protect him better if he's gonna spend all night going up and down chimneys."

Sue sighed. "I'll get supper on. I guess we're stuck with him until we figure out how to get him to Japan. At least the Higurashis know he's with us."

_That_ had been a fun phone call. Inuyasha did not know how to work a telephone, nor had he any idea what the telephone number might be. But he _did_ know the name of the shrine in Tokyo, and the operator was able to find the number for them after that.

Mrs. Higurashi had sounded very nice, although her English was a little rusty and Sue had to repeat herself several times before the other woman understood that Inuyasha was stuck with them. Once Kagome got on the phone with her boyfriend, there was a shouting match in Japanese that ended with Inuyasha hitting the floor face-first.

"Hey!" said Ted. "Those beads really _do_ work!"

Sue had rubbed her temples and groaned. "You're not helping, Ted."

Well, at least Kagome knew her boyfriend was safe, even if he wasn't going to make it for the date her mother had painstakingly set up for them. Mrs. Higurashi assured them that it was not too late for her to phone in cancellations. They had wished each other a Merry Christmas before hanging up the phone.

Inuyasha crouched on a chair and watched Sue as she got supper ready.

"Got any ramen?"

"Sorry."

"Rice?"

"Potatoes."

"What's potato?"

She tossed one at him. He looked at the brown object in his hand and gave it an experimental gnaw.

"Guk!"

"It's supposed to be cooked first, dummy. Toss it back, eh?"

Sue washed the potato again and peeled it.

"I miss Kagome," the _hanyou _said dejectedly. "I just wanna go home."

"Aww, baby," said Sue, putting down the paring knife and going over to hug him (she'd been waiting for an excuse all day). "It's okay, honey. We'll get you home somehow."

Was that a tear in that golden eye? Inuyasha sniffed.

"Thanks. You and Ted have been awful nice to me. Even if I have screwed up your Christmas."

"You haven't screwed anything up. We'll have a nice dinner tonight, and tomorrow, you'll come to my mom's with us for Christmas dinner… and everything will be just fine. Ted will phone the Embassy when it re-opens and we'll see if we can get this sorted out, and you back home."

But Inuyasha grew quieter and quieter as the evening progressed. Sue gave him worried glances.

"What are we gonna do, Ted? He looks so… so sad."

"Nothing much we can do until I can call the Japanese Embassy. God! Our long distance bill is gonna be out of sight this month." He sighed.

At this moment, the doorbell chimed.

"Who could that be at this hour?" Sue asked. "You didn't order pizza, did you?"

"Nope. Not tonight."

Ted got up to answer the door. He was gone only a moment before he charged back into the room.

"You guys! You gotta come quick! You won't BELIEVE who's at the door!"

"Please let it not be Ed and Al Elric," Sue prayed. "Or G-Force. Or anyone from Gundam Wing. I just couldn't take Lacus Clyne warbling 'I'll be Home for Christmas' right now."

As she and Inuyasha reached the front door, she saw the _hanyou's_ ears twitch.

"There's something out on your front lawn, " he said. "With bells on."

"Oh joy! Carollers."

But it wasn't carollers. Standing in the doorway was an elderly man all dressed in red and white. He looked suspiciously like the Santa from the mall, except he had a real beard.

"Merry Christmas!" he said jovially. "I understand you have someone here who needs a lift."

Sue peered past the man to spy a sleigh drawn by eight reindeer on her front lawn. At least they weren't parked on her rosebushes.

Ted beamed. "It's Santa Claus, Inuyasha. The _real _one! He heard you needed a ride back home, so he's come to get you."

"Really?" Inuyasha's gold eyes shone with hope. "Can you really take me back to Kagome?"

"Sure!" said the man. "I had a last-minute letter from one Kagome Higurashi, saying that all she wanted for Christmas was her _hanyou_ back. You are Inuyasha, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, my boy, make your farewells and get on board! You'll have to help me finish my run, and I'll drop you back home before sunrise."

"Awww right!" Inuyasha pounded Ted on the back and kissed Sue. "Thanks so much, you guys! I'm going home!"

He bounded outside and hopped into the sleigh. "Hey, old man! Let's go!"

The elderly man shook his head. "This is gonna be a loooong night." He pressed a wrapped gift into Ted's hands. "Thank you very much Mr. and Mrs. Roberts, for looking after Inuyasha. I'll see he gets home okay."

He winked, then strode over to the waiting sleigh. "Shove over, youngster! Gimme those reins! Alright then, here we go! Hey Dasher! Hey Dancer! Prancer and Vixen! Comet, and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen! 'Bye, folks!"

The sleigh rose majestically into the air, drawn by the reindeer. Ted and Sue stared after it. Just before they shut the front door, they thought they heard…

"Hey, old man, can I drive?"

"Not on your life, boyo. Not on your life!"

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!


End file.
